Interesting story. When you strip away the prestige and honor given to spiritual gurus who claim to have a closer connection to the divine, You discover that they are mere mortals. I spent over twenty-five years in Fundamentalist Christianity. The facade had begun to crack several years before I walked out. In that time, I saw three men that I had looked up to and respected fall. The men were well-renowned pastors known internationally in our circles. One was indicted, sentenced, and died before in jail before he went to prison for over thirty years of sexual assault on children. The second, a Baptist Preacher, was arrested for public drunkenness, and the third was having a longstanding affair with his secretary.
I started practicing Yoga about seven years ago. A book that left an indelible mark on me was https://amzn.to/2Q3NEpw Yoga Beyond Belief by Ganga White.
After my negative experience with Fundamentalism and spiritual gurus, something in this book stuck with me. The book is very honest he shares about his own experiences of “Experts” who completely disagreed on what was the right approach to practice. White pointed out that you can learn from others but ultimately you find what works best for you. I also learned that the fundamentalist mindset can be found throughout many different spiritual disciplines. The book was a real eyeopener.